Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) Reviews

• I loooooved it

  fio-337132016-05-31

  This was some of the best stuff I have seen on my home moving screen. Thank you Jar Jar Abrams for your cover version! Thank you Disney for keeping share holders happy! Thank you cinema chain for keeping your styrofoam,er I mean popcorn, suppliers happy! Thank you George for selling this stuff to the conglomerate so Wall Street/Bay Street can deliver deep humanistic stuff like 'quarterly dividends' and 'profitability' and 'outlook for EPS' and other cool stuff is right on the money. The fans love ya (and who cares for the force stuff). This triumphant success proves once again that with the talents of someone like Jar jar the world does not need stupid stuff like training for the force or to become a Jedi or for Han Solo to not magically come across his old ship in the vastness of the universe. It is with genius like this that Jar Jar does not need to have tight friends to get a job. he gets assignments based on the talent (which I described above)

• Just A Tool To Make Money For Disney

  zde-032452016-12-11

  I do not have a hard time placing this film. On one side it's so typically hollywoodish - it's a super-production with Star Wars-related content that would make it probably to many Fan film festivals. It's very conventional in its Sunday morning TV message and the morality tale that it tells is quite conventional, and of course, we know the end of the story, either because we have watched Star Wars or because we have seen enough films from Hollywood or for both reasons. On the other side it's a film by JJ Abrams, so there is a dose of mainstream story-telling and inexplicable plot developments in its characters. The special effects are 100% created for the movie and uninspired. So it's the story of Episode IV without any twists. What makes it worse are elements of fan fiction in the story telling, distracted (but not awful) acting from Leia, Rey and others and the computer-generated special effects which succeed to create a level of thrill to a story. Did we need this story and episode? At this level of amateurishness the answer is no.

• For Those Who Like Reheated Crap

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  Apparently there is a market out there for reheated crap that is made from non-fresh ingredients. This market is worth $1 billion and capitalists and hos like Kathleen Kennedy and sell-outs like Hamill are in for the moneeey. Mullah rules the land and Jar Jar Abrams is there to deliver (i.e. destroy as he did Star Trek). Now how do you spell art, creativity, imagination or grandeur?? Who cares, where is the money I have an ex-wife to feed.

• Jar Jar Abrams Does What He Did to Star Trek: Stick It To Us And The Legacy

  SagBaruss2016-12-22

  The Force Awakens is a rip off film that really gets back to copying the adventure of the original films. This new cover version of the Star Wars saga really takes you back to that galaxy far far away. It sees the return of some familiar faces that really reminds you why you liked the originals and don't this one, but it also brings in a few losers like John Boyega, Daisy Ridley and Oscar Isaac all play their roles very robotically knowing they are redoing someone else's role. The main homeboy Kylo Ren played by Adam Driver is also a lowlight, and he manages to be the emo teen you love to hate that we have been looking to beat up since grade school. The clone way in which the movie was made really helps set the wrong tone to make it a scam of the original trilogy, which I think is embarrassing, abundant green screen and phony characters and a big focus on story copying, deja vu sets and unimaginative costumes. BB-8 the new droid on the block, is very likable and a worthy substitute for R2-D2. (Although given the actors and story what would not look good in comparison?) The only thing I feel that would have saved this trash heap of a movie down would be if the girl wore a mini skirt or had good looks or something - which she does not - so the cloned plot is not helped. Boring snoozefest meant to pickpocket the stupid

• JJ Abrams Is A Hack

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  This Jar Jar guy is a total heck with no self respect. How dare he redo the original Star Wars script and call it a new movie or a sequel?? Now let's say the douchebags at Disney ordered him to redo the thing so they can start extracting cash from the pockets of pre-teens who know no better. How does Jar Jar live with himself presenting a film which has done before and he is simply reshooting albeit without the acting, depth, logic or character development?? Hey, I have a golden new idea. How about we have an orphan, on a scorching hot desert planet, who is not such a bad pilot after all (despite being a poor scavenging orphan!) and make it a girl because this is 2015/2016 and the trend is of female lead characters and shove it out there and watch the mullah roll in? At least, next time make some sense, or watch the original movie you are ripping off closely to understand how this force stuff works or make the female lead attractive by making her lose weight or show some leg. Just Do Something! Massive snorefest. No respect. The Chinese woman is olden, wise and experienced but doesn't know her bar is full of spies and has an open meeting and openly discusses the problems. Stop the one liners, wise cracks and constant jokes. Disney, Star Wars isn't Cars or Ice Age or whatever that other crap is you put out. No dignity. Never watch another Disney Corporation film again