Malibu Shark Attack (2009) Reviews

• Oh... My... God...

  paul_haakonsen2010-08-14

  This have got to be one of the worst shark movies I have ever seen. It was so full of things that made you want to yank out your hair by the root. First, let's talk about the acting, actually most of the actors and actresses performed well enough. Of course, don't expect to see any award winning performances, but they weren't as bad as to be expected from a movie of this type. Then moving on to the sharks. Goblin sharks? Alrighty then, why not? What was up with the snouts and the spikes along the ridge of their backs? And the way that they always had to open and close their mouths like as if communicating somehow? And how come they repeatedly showed the same clip over and over again, just mirroring it from time to time. What's next? Oh yeah, lets throw a tsunami into the equation, as if crappy CGI sharks weren't enough. This was the worst-looking CGI animated tsunami in movie history. And they said in the movie that it was a massive wall of water standing 100 feet tall, and yet it did no damage to those wooden huts belonging to the beach life guards? Yeah, okay. But it managed to put places 30 feet underwater, but did no damage what so ever to those beach huts. That was just hilarious. Oh, and I also loved the fact that in some scenes you saw the fake wave travel towards land, but when the camera angle changed, the wave had magically vanished from the surface of the water in the background. That was a really amazing touch to the movie, a fake tsunami that was able to defy laws of physics and magically vanish from time to time, this is as good as it gets. And the constant filler scenes of showing girls in bikinis playing volleyball or frolicking on the beach, or hunky surfer guys in the water, what is up with that? I know this movie is supposed to take place in Malibu, but come on. Those scenes are pointless and serves as nothing but a way to fill out the time and hope to keep whatever audience is left hooked. I actually managed to pull through the entire movie, because I wanted to see what else was hidden in the drawer of bad effects and cheesy stories. Hand on heart, then this is really a terrible shark movie. If you, like me, like monster movies, then pick something else, this one is just not worth the time or effort.

• Just terrible

  thegoodman-12010-10-22

  I'm not sure whether this is actually a film, or a TV series, but i bought it as a whole feature length film because it looked interesting, a massive shark on the cover swallowing someone; but it turns out there are about 7 4ft long sharks. The film is shocking, really bad. So, what happens when a bunch of uncoordinated lifeguards become stranded in an indestructible lifeguard cabin after being hit by a tsunami? they're hunted by special needs sharks of course! A group of survivors who look like the stunt team from lost are hunt by the most un-intimidating sharks in the world who look like they've escaped from a circus. That's about it. Every character's involved in some sort of love triangle which just makes you want them dead... and you'll only be disappointed because about 1 person dies. That's all there is to say about this movie really. It may sound like a Petty and pointless review but it really is that bad.

• Sharks take a bite out of Malibu.

  michaelRokeefe2011-02-05

  SyFy Channel presents a hapless shark flick with some actual moments of gore(not enough). An underwater earthquake causes a badly animated tsunami to roar into Malibu beach with rare prehistoric goblin shark hungry for anything moving. Don't take the people to the sharks, but bring the sharks to the people. Buff and tanned surfers and swimmers are appetite pleasing; but then construction workers also give CGI sharp teeth monsters something to chomp on. Jaggedly torn missing limbs and bloody beaches go along with the typical fright and mayhem of a shark attack. Peta Wilson is part of a no frills cast featuring: Jeff Gannon, Sonya Salomaa, Mungo McKay, Evert McQueen and Renee Brown.

• So bad its good

  david-5462013-07-29

  OK. I saw this piece of rubbish on our Space channel. I couldn't believe how bad it was. It was so bad Donkey Punch was actually better. Clichéd. Bad acting or was it over acting. Still I watched with fascination this train wreck. Or was it a shark wreck. As to the sharks. Well they were, what can I say, over the top! If there was one thing I kept hoping for it was that all of them, and I mean all of them were eaten by the sharks. It would save us a lot of pain. But sometimes it is just fun to watch a really bad movie. No not Ed Wood bad but well just bad. Watch if you dare!!!!!!

• "She wanted to save them, now she's dead ..."

  incubushatesu22009-08-29

  I love stupid movies and on the stupid scale of one to ten this one is a 9. It's not as stupid as say Jaws 4 but it's damn close. I can't believe Michael Caine didn't sign up for this one. With dialogue like "how long can he hold his breath? For a long time." I smell Emmy. ****Spoiler Alert**** Just like Jaws 4 proved sharks are faster than jet planes this movie proved Goblin Sharks are much more powerful than a 100 foot Tsunami since the Life Guard shack held up under the wave but immediately cracked under a sharks nudge. Oh yea, and note to Producers, Goblin Sharks are not considered long extinct. They were discovered in the late 1800's and are sometimes found entangled by deep-sea fishing lines.