Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012) Reviews

• Absolutely terrible yet strangely amusing & witty at times.

  poolandrews2012-12-11

  Jersey Shore Shark Attack is set in the small town of Seaside Heights on the Jersey Shore where Italian Guido TC (Jeremy Luke) & his mates live & hang out, while having a fight with Bradford (Grant Harvey) & some rich preppy boy friends from the local yachting club. A Guido named JP (Ben Giroux) is chased & jumps into the Ocean where Bradford & his friend leave him, suddenly JP is attacked from below the surface by a vicious white skinned, red eyed albino Shark & killed. Most of us wouldn't be to bothered but TC & his mates are genuinely upset, TC believes that something in the water attacked JP & sets out to prove it to his father who happens to be the Sheriff in Seaside Heights. While performing an open air concert ex N-Sync boy-band member Joey Fatone is eaten by a flying Shark, the wider community now has to believe TC. As the bodies mount up it's up to TC & his Guido companions to save the day & prevent a bloodbath... Directed by John Sheppird this made for television comedy horror spoof premiered on the SyFy Channel both here in the UK & the US before hitting the shops on DVD & Blu-ray, I deliberately described Jersey Shore Shark Attack as a comedy spoof horror although thinking about it I might just have given it far too much credit & in fact it's an absolute shambles of a film but surely no-one could make a film this outrageously bad on purpose could they? Obviously a tongue in cheek light hearted attempt to combine the cheap Sy Fy Channel creature feature with the successful reality based Jersey Shore (2009) television series that follows a group of twenty something's around, right now I will admit that I hate these fly on the wall reality television show's so I have not seen a single second of the awful sounding Jersey Shore series but I have seen what seems like hundreds of those cheap Shark based SyFy Channel creature features & I have to say that I found Jersey Shore Shark Attack utterly awful yet undeniably entertaining & even quite amusing at times. At just under 90 minutes long the script wastes no time & this has a good pace, something utterly stupid or daft is always happening so you will be in a constant state of hysterics & disbelief at what you are witnessing. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is the sort of film that defies any sort of rational description, you simply have to see it to understand how awful it is & how embarrassing it is. The character's are all dumb stereotypical idiots & I assume that the airhead Nooki is a send-up of the real life Jersey Shore participant Snooki, the dialogue is terrible (did he drowned?) & the whole premise is lazy & has been done before. There's the killer Shark's, the rich businessman & town mayor who refuse to shut the beach down because of fear of bad publicity & the stand-up Sheriff who puts himself on the line. Character's behave in ways that are totally idiotic & I was actually rooting for the Shark's who were the innocent victims here in this tragic tale of environmental destruction & social behaviour. The special effects are absolutely awful, the shark attacks are CGI computer animated & next to no effort was made to even place the Shark's & actor's in the same scene or to make footage of the two even match during the same scene. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is badly made by people who look like they don't really care. There's a bit of gore, a guy has his hand bitten off & a fountain of blood spurts everywhere, there's a mangled torso & some guy is attacked as a Shark jumps out of the water & has his stomach torn open & skin ripped off his body. The rest of the attacks are pitiful, even the blood in most of the attacks is CGI, how cheap is that? The film is very bright & colourful with no thought on creating any sort of atmosphere or scares or tension, it's very kitsch & exaggerated. Filmed mainly in California there's an appearance by Joey Fatone in a funny cameo & the entire cast seem to having fun with the one-liners & silly poses, the so bad it's good acting from the cast is probably the best aspect of Jersey Shore Shark Attack & makes it a total laugh riot from start to finish. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is absolutely terrible, it's not a proper film it's a collection of awfully directed scenes & rubbish CGI effects held together by a game cast & an amusing script that actually has some wit. Don't rush out & buy it but I was entertained in a very strange sort of way. Now, a reality based television series in which the cast of the actual Jersey Shore are attacked & eaten by killer Shark's is definitely something I would pay good money to see...

• Decent cheese

  miloc2012-06-03

  For reasons more complicated than I would want to explain, I ended up at a special big- screen premiere of "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" last night. The trailer for this TV movie event has been attracting considerable online derision lately, so I feel compelled to say that in a theater, surrounded by a crowd of the willing, it's actually pretty fun. The cults that surround movies like "The Room" and "Troll 2" have created a weird sort of cottage industry centered around "so-bad-it's-good" entertainment. SyFy, which has lately been churning out deadpan goofs like "Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus", seems determined to enter those sweepstakes. But the appeal of something like "The Room" comes from the understanding that the movie was meant to be *good*. (Tommy Wiseau has since claimed otherwise, but seriously, come on.) "Jersey Shore" and "Mega-Shark", by contrast, are pseudo-hip, self-aware entertainments, somewhere between Roger Corman's '60s beatnik spoof "Bucket of Blood" and a Z-grade Frankie Avalon beach party. Here and there they earn a laugh worthy of a good SCTV sketch. (In "Mega-Shark" it's the bit with the plane, and in this one it's the fate of ex-'N Syncer Joey Fatone.) This isn't exactly great or even good cinema. On TV, without a live audience, this may well die the death. But low-budget quickies like this used to kill in a drive-in or a 99-cent grindhouse. With low expectations you forgive the clunkier jokes and appreciate the details (like the "Jaws" music cue during Tony Sirico's Quint speech). Fun was had and the profit margins were high-- so why exactly aren't there drive-ins anymore?

• Root for the sharks

  MartianOctocretr52012-06-11

  The title is an invitation to watch some brain dead clowns get chased by fish with big teeth. Kitschy craziness is promised, and this latest in SyFy channel low budget mutant shark movies delivers enough to make the joke work. The cast of look-alikes did a great job of spoofing their infamous reality show counterparts. The girl doing Snooki was a dead ringer for her. She and the others had their English-slaying "Joyzee" speech down pat, and the patented stupidity of JS's regulars was a good fit for this type of movie. Enter the sharks. Like a zillion other movies like this made on the cheap, the sharks are the result of evil corporate America. The special effects were deliberately cheap and fake looking, and are so bad they're funny. Plenty of red dye gets tossed around, but no real grisly scenes, so the comic approach works. Obviously not to be taken seriously. How can anybody fault sharks or be afraid of them for going after these dummies? If anything, you'll root for the sharks.

• SyFy gives us albino killer sharks...

  paul_haakonsen2012-08-10

  The first thing that came to mind when I saw the SyFy logo, was "oh great", because usually SyFy make these really, really bad monstrous creature movies. But still, I gave it a watch because their movies are usually so bad that they are fun to watch. As for the story in "Jersey Shore Shark Attack", well it is as with much other shark movies. Mankind is drilling in the ocean floor, and that stirs up a school of killer sharks, and the waters become unsafe to go into. The storyline was very thin and seen countless times before in other movies, but still, it was fun to watch because the sharks looked so cheesy, the characters in the movie didn't share the IQ of a birch tree combined, and the effects were just laughable. The characters in this movie was so epically lame, that it was just unbelievable. Combined amongst these steroid pumped young men and women, I think the IQ was still lower than that of a birch tree. The way they behaved, talked and what they did, it was just so over the top, and no one in their right mind would do such things, much less behave that way. Someone in the movie said, and I quote, "omg, look at that" - seriously, who talks like that? Now, I am not saying that the acting was bad, it was just questionable, and people did what they could with these super bad characters and dialogue that the had to work with. And what was up with the names of these characters? They were just downright stupid; TC, BJ, Nooki, J-Moni and Balzac. And the way those steroid muscle-men were walking, they looked like constipated dolls sitting on Popsicle sticks. Joey Fatone is in the movie, still cashing in on the former Nsync celebrity status. Well, aside from that, then he gets eaten by a shark that just comes out of nowhere, jumps out, swallows him with a massive splatter of blood, and then apparently goes back into the water. That scene, despite being hilarious, was just so bad. How did that shark even get there? Amazing with fireworks nowadays, apparently the firecrackers these people had packed such a sonic blast that it was able to knock a grown woman off the rocks and into the water. That scene was just so stupid. Not to mention the roman candle shooting underwater. What? And lets not leave out the unforgettable scene with the fireworks in the boat and the following explosion. It just has to be seen to actually be believed. And you just got to love those adventurous, bold sharks that manage to get to water so shallow that it only reaches up to the middle of the lower calves of a grown man, and still manage to snatch itself a meal, despite the shark being way to big to even swim there. Or those wonderful moments when sharks start attacking the pillars that support and hold up the seaside boardwalk, because we all know that it happens every day in Jersey. When the shark kept bobbing up out of the water at the side of the boat, it just looked like something out of a "whack-a-mole" game. It was so hilarious. And to make it even better, it was the worst CGI shark in the history of movies. Epic. Just epic! Despite all these flaws and faults, then "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" was actually fun entertainment. Why? Well because it was so over the top cheesy and bad, and I sincerely hope that the movie was making fun of itself and the shark genre. Not to mention that the Jersey police don't even have their weapon securely locked away, as TC could just walk in there and take whatever he wanted. No security, no locks, no weapons locker, no nothing. It was just hilarious. Will you ever go in the water again?

• The Best SyFy Original Movie Yet

  JCMotors2012-06-09

  Jersey Shore Shark Attack is so bad that it's good. As a die hard Jersey Shore hater I had to check this movie out for myself. Usually SyFy Original Movies are terrible and ripoff other movies This one is a crossover parody where they mashup Jersey Shore and a generic shark Attack SyFy Movie. I literally couldn't stop laughing at this movie. I nearly died from laughter. The parodies of the Jersey Shore cast was excellent and gave the Italian stereotype the bad rap that Jersey Shore brings. You have to see this to believe it. I was more excited for Jersey Shore Shark Attack than for next week's movie, Piranhaconda. This movie is one of the better SyFy original movies out there. I can't wait for the DVD.