Holding the Man (2015) Reviews

• Moving, touching, disturbing, wonderful, sad, IMPORTANT

  firehorsefilms2016-10-15

  When you rate a film a 10, the review is harder because it usually means you are gushing with so much good news about the film, that you don't know where to begin. I'll just hit three points, and to be safe, I'M REPEATING MY SPOILER ALERT HERE. THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. 1. The casting is fantastic. The chemistry between Ryan and Craig is unlike anything I've ever seen in film, and I'm an oldie with an almost catalog knowledge of classic films. So, going back to the 1930s, I can't remember when I've seen two on-screen lovers who were more engaging and compelling. By the time the story ends, you feel like you gained and lost two great friends, so REAL is their relationship with each other. It translates over to a wonderful invitation to US, and we end up feeling lost when we lose them. (Yes, because this movie sticks with one well after one has seen it, I may be clouded by that glow, but, for now, that is my assessment of their chemistry.) 2. If you lived through the '80s and early '90s, as an adult, this film will resonate well and actually dredge up some horrifying memories of the time. If you have children in their 20s, it's even more oddly devastating to see (double spoiler alert here) two men being given a death sentence in their mid-twenties. (Triple spoiler alert here.) Although it takes years for the executioner to arrive, they are handed that death sentence at a very young age (25 - John; and 26 - Tim). To watch them have to cope with that as a couple, to see them thrown into such a nightmare at such a young age is tragic on an epic level. The day they get the bad news, they should be thinking about first jobs and maybe buying a car. It's astounding what they are instead handed. The grace with which they approach it is heartbreaking to watch. 3. (Quadruple spoiler alert here.) Hearing Tim's voice at the end SLAYS. The constant stiff upper lip of both of their journeys is the thing that makes this film stick with you for hours or days after you see it. It's the dictionary definition of impressive. It impresses itself on you with its hard truths and horrid reality: Two people you grow to love leave you at the end of the film, and they do it bravely. It breaks your heart and leaves you with a strange longing.

• Cheers, from America

  paulcreeden2016-08-16

  This thoughtful adaptation of Tim Conigrave's autobiography parallels events in my own life here in the U.S, though I am 10 years older than the characters portrayed. As a hospice nurse during the AIDS epidemic, as a person living with AIDS, as the life partner of a man living with AIDS still, I found this memoir perhaps a most personal and least embellished representation of gay male relationships before and during the HIV epidemic's height. From a critical viewpoint, I admire the actors of great international stature who put in roles which enhanced the story without intruding upon it. Well done. I felt their sincere support of the project from their performances. I don't know that American actors would have been able to do so. I applaud the portrayal of the devastation of disease on loving relationships and affection between long-time partners. The portrayal of anticipation of separation by death, in contrast to the earlier youthful separation over sexual desires was very poignant. The sensitivity of the film cuts through the stereotypes of male Australian culture beautifully without being sappy. As a person who has survived HIV for 32 years with many ups and downs, I usually avoid films about the AIDS epidemic like the plague itself. When my partner recommended it to me, I flinched. However, I would have missed a rare emotional experience if I had let it pass me by. Thank you, Tim Conigrave and all who have brought his work to us.

• Not easily done...

  ekeby2016-08-07

  ...showing the story of two teenagers through to their early 30s. Both the book and movie were unknown to me, so I came at this without expectations. This movie succeeds with material that is very familiar--if not overly familiar--to gay men like myself. That in itself is quite an accomplishment. What starts out as a simplistic story of high school romance becomes an epic tale spun out for 127 minutes. I was surprised by the honesty of the story, and surprised that the two lead actors could seamlessly--and convincingly--go from teenagers to adults. It is not easy to take everyday events and stitch them up into an epic. This movie does that, and it does it well. If I had known the plot in advance, I probably wouldn't have gone near this film with a 10-foot pole. I'm glad I didn't know because I would have missed a really good movie. If you're young and gay and want to get an accurate look at what life was like for us in the '70s and '80s, this is the movie to see. For Americans, that it's set in Australia is irrelevant; the story was the same.

• John was beside you.

  hughman552016-09-08

  I feel this review inadequately describes how good this film is. I gave it my best shot. Here goes... There have been films like this one before but this one is different. It's based on a book written in 1994 by the main character, Timothy Conigrave. Tommy Murphy has adapted that autobiography into a brilliant screenplay and director Neil Armfield has turned that screenplay into a brilliant film. "Holding the Man" covers the life and romance of two young men who meet in high school in Melbourne, Australia. It opens, however, in Italy with a frantic phone call back to Australia by Tim, wonderfully played by Ryan Corr. He needs to know, "where John was at the dinner party"; and he needs to know it now. That first impression of frenzy creates an undercurrent of urgency that will inform this beautiful story until the end; there just isn't enough time, there is never enough time, time is short, and life is shorter than time. Craig Stott plays the love of Tim's life, John Caleo, winner of the "Best and Fairest Medal" in high school. His performance, and that of Corr's, is mesmerizing. In addition to their love story you will also come to understand the struggles of their imperfect parents. These roles are played out by no less than Anthony LaPaglia, Guy Pierce, Kerry Fox, and Camilla Ah Kim. Geoffry Rush has a brief but impressionable role as Tim's acting coach. They all convey an acute understanding of these peripheral roles and I couldn't help but feel that they saw a project of substance and just wanted to see it succeed. It does. Told in a non-linear narrative where the story jumps forward and backward in time, "Holding the Man" is a story of simple love that is complicated by society, family, and eventually consumed by the vortex that was, and is, the AIDS epidemic. What sets this film apart from others of its genre, no disrespect to any of them, is how personal and honest it is. Previous films have dealt with the AIDS epidemic; explaining it, apologizing for it, not apologizing for it, defending a community, lashing out righteously against an impotent, or worse, a passively complicit, government, and this one does too. But it does it in a way that is deeply intimate and personal to a degree that I think is new. Tim and John meet and fall in love in high school at the end of the 70's. After some early years of stumbling around they come back together, forever. These characters were not perfect. Their story is not perfect. But it is compelling and, seemingly, honest. The author and main character, Tim, doesn't shy away from his own shortcomings and mistakes. He actually seems to enjoy picking himself apart and much of it is quite funny. Conversely, I've heard it suggested that Tim's memory of John is idealized. That's possible. My tendency though is to trust someone as apparently introspective as Tim Conigrave. His aversion to self flattery gives weight to his perception of others. And just as an overall impression, his story of their relationship seems balanced and real. What came across for me the most was how genuine this story felt. Their relationship and their love for one another was at complete odds with their entire world; their community, their school, their families, friends (mostly), even their government, and yet they listened to their hearts and not the noise around them. They forged some kind of a life together with no blue print, no map, and no help, and it worked. This was in 1977... Ryan Corr and Craig Stott bring an honesty and realness to Tim and John's story that is actually, and quite literally, overwhelming. We've never seen these two characters, under any name, on screen before. That is due in part to a brilliant screenplay which is not afraid of anything except dis-ingenuousness; yet equally to Corr and Stott's fearless approach to who these boys, and later men, were and their ability as actors to make them real. The pop music choices were an effective time machine transporting the viewer back and forth through the different parts of the story. You will never hear Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" again without the sense of foreboding that ushered in the 80's for Tim and John. Not even my type of music but it's perfect, and perfectly placed, in their story. For all of its weightiness there are moments where this film will make you laugh out loud. There's even some surprising gallows humor from John's mother as she waits by his hospital bedside. That moment will jerk you away from where you think you're going, and then go there anyway dragging you into a pit of despair and sadness with no apparent floor to stop the descent. The jagged chronology of the story creates a contrast for the dramatically different periods of their relationship. Innocent times are rendered more precious when contextualized by previously established losses to come. You will view moments in Tim and John's lives that will produce consequences they couldn't possibly have imagined. It is brilliant story telling and develops a depth and breadth to this film that was surely there in real life. Nothing in this review will diminish your viewing experience of this film. The plot points of Tim and John's story are not surprising. It's not what happens to them, it's how we're shown what happens. The emotional impact, because of these amazing actors, the screenplay, and directing, renders a familiar story new. It is raw. And it is real. If you were dying, and you knew it, what would you say? If you could write it down, how would it read? If you want to know what Tim Conigrave would have written about John Caleo, watch "Holding the Man". It is a beautiful film.

• Well worth the wait

  robischiffman2016-07-11

  I was given the book by a friend from Australia in about '97,I have read it countless times through the years. I never thought anyone would be able to bring the story to the screen, as Tim had written a remarkable story. Finally seeing the movie, I can only say that it does indeed do the book justice. No movie can wholly compete with a brilliant and beautifully crafted book, the best it can hope to do is convey the story and the spirit of the book - this movie does just that. I fell in love with John and Tim all over again, 19 years later. The love they shared, the pain they endured both John's physical and Tim's emotional came back to me as emotionally as it had in the book. (I wept through the end of the book) Was my emotional response a reaction to the movie on it's own, or in part to the memory of the book? I do not know. I do know that Craig Stott's portrayal of John was, for me, spot on, as was Ryan Corr's portrayal of Tim. The story, the spirit and the essence of these two beautiful men is definitely captured and resonate through this film.