Hatchetman (2003) Reviews

• Rubbishy murder mystery.

  poolandrews2007-03-18

  Hatchetman is set in Los Angeles where wannabe lawyer Claudia (Cheryl Wagner) makes ends meat by working in a strip club at night, one ordinary night fellow stripper Brittany (Fonta Sawyer) is brutally murdered by a hatchet wielding maniac. Soon after another stripper named Michele (Elizabeth Ryan) is murdered in the same fashion, Claudia's cop boyfriend Sonny (Jon Briddell) is on the case which makes everyone feel better although all he seems to do is to tell the girls to stay indoors. Anyway, the murders continue & the killer is dubbed 'Hatchetman' by the police as they franticly try to discover they're identity before anymore bodies turn up... Written & directed by Robert Tiffi this is pretty bottom of the barrel stuff that I didn't like, at all. The extremely repetitive script which takes itself very seriously is rubbish, the mystery elements are awful & it tries so hard to point he finger in the direction of one character & it's painfully obvious it isn't them, since there are only two other suspects you've a 50/50 chance of getting it right, it's no surprise when the killer is revealed & their lame motives are given a whole one line of dialogue, I don't think much effort or thought went into the story which plays more like a murder mystery than out-and-out slasher that it's deceptively exploitative title might lead you to expect. The character's & dialogue are equally awful, all these girls seem to do is give each other advice about stripping. Their actions are stupid, I mean if there'a killer running around murdering all your mates would walk around late at night on your own? The cops are clueless, there is no motive given to the suspects so it's impossible to care & I wasn't really bothered who did it because I wasn't given any reason to care. There's no imagination in the murders, there's not enough of them & one felt while watching Hatchetman the filmmakers weren't trying anything more ambitious than to make a gory slasher with plenty of nudity & they even failed to do that. Director Tiffi does OK actually & you get the impression there was some money behind this as it looks professional if nothing else, however there are no scares, no tension or atmosphere & the exploitation elements are disappointing. You know just having girls go topless every five minutes doesn't mean it's erotic or sexy as despite all the nudity & breasts on show it gets boring to watch, the gore is none existent really with lots of blood splashing over nearby objects but apart from a brief slit throat there's no actually special make-up effects here. Overall I was expecting more from a film called Hatchetman. The budget probably wasn't big but it looks alright & is quite well made, at least they saved some money on the costume budget because the girls don't often wear many clothes. They probably saved a load on special effects too as there aren't any. The acting is poor from just about everyone. Hatchetman is a terrible slasher that piles on the nudity but is still as bad as most of these straight-to-video potboilers, definitely not recommended.

• Hatchetjob.

  Son_of_Mansfield2006-04-28

  The best compliment I can give to this movie is that I was so bored watching it that I started to clean my room. Other than that, I can't think of any positives. This has all the hallmarks of Boxom B Badness, but everything is so dull. The story is hacked from better movies, the revelation of the killer is unsatisfying, and the movie is about ninety-seven minutes too long. I liked the ketchup style blood, and the strip club setting, and I really enjoyed watching Rob the manager die a horrible death and the killer's dumb motivation monologue. Mia Zottoli, whose breasts you may remember, and the mostly topless female ensemble are vapid as they are pretty. The males in these Showtime movies are always grey haired quasi tough guys and the girls are large breasted bimbos. Not bad enough to have a laugh fest, but certainly nothing to be proud of either. Bored now.

• Horror ?

  faddamakka2004-06-19

  In one of the first scenes, this movie seemed to me as a very good one. It had the kind of stuff that you would usually see in a good horror movie. Until I saw it all. This was obviously a very low budget film. The effects were bad, some of the acting was lousy and the plot ? I wouldn't go there. This movie does not deserve it's place in the shelf marked "horror", why ? Owing to the fact that there is more erotic than horror or action in this movie after my opinion. After seeing this film, you are left with the thought of a cliché that was suppose to be a good horror movie. A movie about a lunatic, running ironed with a big axe slaying people with some strippers on a pole in between the "scary" scenes. 1/10

• Terrible!

  gaetta2004-05-08

  This is the worst "Scream"-replica ever. Extremely bad acting, camera movement, sound, picture, directing, special effects and so on. After 5 minutes, you've pretty much figured out who's going to survive the Hatchman's axeswinging. The only thing that will entertain people in this movie, is the boobs. The movie never goes five minutes without any form of nudity. Problem is, the girls aren't that pretty. If you want nudity, rent a pornmovie. Chances are surprisingly big that it'll have a better story. Avoid at all costs. I've used 7 dollars to rent this crap, so I feel that I have done my duties in this life not recommending this to anyone.

• Here's a Tip, Don't See This

  Scars_Remain2008-04-22

  This movie(or should I say travesty?) was in the bargain bin in a local movie store for two bucks. I figured, what the hell? It can't be so bad that I would regret dishing out two dollars for it. Unfortunately, I do regret it and I'm here to warn you not to see this piece of garbage. It was a very agonizing hour and a half experience. The acting is seriously awful, I guess should expect it from a Showtime film but still, did they think they had quality actors when they were producing this? The story is nothing but a horrible cliché slasher only the killer was stupider than any movie I've ever seen. The music and everything else are also terrible. If you made the same mistake I made by purchasing this movie, do yourself a favor and throw it out.