Greystone Park (2012) Reviews

• Greystone Park: This cost half a million?! This?

  Platypuschow2018-03-31

  Greystone Park has to be one of the least engaging films I've ever seen. Immediatly from the outset I was drawn to it as much as I am fire, acid or something really really pointy. It's yet another found footage-esque film where a group of folks interested in documenting supernatural activity break into an asylum and.......serious dejavu. This cost over half a million dollars to make and I'd love someone to explain to me where the money went. Was everyone overpaid? Did they have fantastic catering? Were all the cast put up in 5* hotels with travel covered and a personal masseuse? Maybe champagne and caviar for everyone in between takes? Because it sure as hell didn't go on the production. I've seen some real stinkers in this genre, and let's be honest most of them are the same movie recycled over and over again. But this is right up there! Again it's un-engaging, it's boring, it's stupidly dark, it has pathetic character development and as is commonly the case nothing ruddy happens! Pitiful, embarassing and yet another carbon copy movie just done worse than even usual. The Good: Nope The Bad: Seen it all before, all of it Annoyingly dark Poorly made from start to finish Things I Learnt From This Movie: Maybe the budget was spent on silk toilet roll?

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• Awful

  taruv882012-08-31

  This will sound harsh but "Greystone Park" (or "The Asylum Tapes" if you're outside the US) is comfortably among the worst movies I have ever seen. No real plot, no thrills, no frights, no nothing. Bad acting (I mean really, really bad), bad sound, bad camera work and even worse editing. I fully appreciate that the film is supposed to be a "found tapes" film - but that is no excuse to produce a 90+ minute film of which most of it you can't actually see what's going on. Adding loud bangs to the footage you can't see doesn't scare anybody above the age of four - not in the year 2012 anyway. Sean Stone's father Oliver is a talented movie maker and one of the more important directors of the 20th century. This piece of garbage might be Stone Jr's first, last and only contribution to the annals of cinematic history.

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• Possibly one of the worst things I've ever seen

  dark_scionproductions2012-09-10

  I had to give a 1 because of IMDb but seriously, this movie shouldn't even have that, everything about this movie could have made it a great one, but sadly the idiot who wrote it (sean stone) didn't seem to either understand how to make a decent horror movie, or it was constantly played for $h!its and giggles, which it failed at-abysmally. When watching I constantly got the feel that it was supposed to be the "spirits" or whatever it was, was attempting to drive them insane, and if the movie had been played like that, the whole spiritual power thing was both messing with their minds and the camera as a sort of "its trying to drag the audience in as well" that would have worked out perfectly well, especially with the scenes at the end with 'crazy Kate' (again, as portrayed, doesn't make sense) but we're just supposed to believe that a story told to them at the start just happened to appear at the end? No, it doesn't work like that in storytelling, even if its supposed to be 'inspired by real events' it wouldn't work like that. Ah, getting off topic, this thing just feels draining, you don't like the characters and it never pays off with creepy moments or jump scares, so when you've had the built up feeling of adrenaline in your system flow out of you, you'll feel tired and bored, is that what you want in a movie experience? I just wish people wouldn't make things like this, its insulting, tired, lazy and trotted out, but most of all - a complete waste of money that you could spend on anything else to give you a better experience than this movie will give you.

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• Dull boring and annoying characters...in darkness!

  doodle_child2012-09-11

  I am afraid to say, that although I watched the film this evening, my brain found it hard to comprehend the dullness that was thrust upon it, and so images of the film are already leaking away as I type this so sorry for lack of info. I am a huge fan of found footage films, which is the reason I got this. I was hoping for at least Grave Encounters level of film but instead got college student attempt at horror film... My main problems with this film is that nothing much happens, they keep shouting at each other over naff all, and you can't see a bloody thing a lot of the time! I paid 8 quid to look at darkness while people shout. I could get the same effect by hiding in an alley at night and occasionally jumping out at people while screaming boo, for free! I am being rather nice with a 2, but if I gave it a 1 I would feel even more depressed about paying the amount I did for it...

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• One word. Nothing

  spook-192012-07-25

  I am an aspiring filmmaker and a fan of 'found footage' films such as 'Chronicle, Cloverfield and The Blair Witch Project'. I went to see this film in Dubai with zero or no expectations at all having not heard any negative or positive reviews. If I were to give the review in a nutshell, it would be "Nothing". The film makers dwell in to a mental hospital with a hand-held shaky cam trying to film the supernatural in the supposed 'Haunted Hospital'. What we are shown during the length of the film are poorly lit and edited clips coupled with awful sound bytes that do nothing for the film. I wish Sean Stone the best of luck for the future but in my opinion, this film should have been a short 20 minute submission to perhaps an indie film festival.

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