Dungeons & Dragons (2000) Reviews

• Just shoot me...

  gaussgoat2001-02-05

  In what can only be described as the worst movie made in the past decade, Dungeons & Dragons will leave you begging for mercy. Hands down, the biggest contributor to the demise of this movie was the script. It was litterally the most insulting, inane dialogue I have ever been treated to in a movie. Props arrive next in an extremely close second. The 35 Million dollars used to make this film must have been used on late night taco runs, because the quality of the props is abyssmal. The "prized artifact" of the movie looks like it fell out of a box of cracker jack, while some of the armor and backgrounds are straight out of the Bargain Bin at your local toy store. Better attempts at fantasy film making have been shot on camcorders across the globe in people's back yards. The acting was terrible all around. The few, and I mean FEW, attempts at serious dialogue were crushed by the worst script ever. The only remotely cool character in the entire proceeding was Demadar, who was still pretty goofy. I guess if I was 8 or so, I might have thought he was creepy. The notably great actors in this film should have balked the moment they saw the script/quality of filming, and their presence on the screen only adds to the insult. Th producers of this movie should be ashamed of themselves. Hundreds of thousands of loyal D&D fans have been waiting for over 25 years for a great, inspiring movie from their hobby. D&D has a prodigious level of material written about it, and any one of it's 100+ books would have made a better movie if read aloud by Pee Wee Herman. This horror show of a movie will no doubt ensure the demise of a great hobby in the public eye for at least the next 10 years. Any potential fan of the game will be unable to forget this awful movie experience. Consider yourself warned, and never, EVER see this movie.

• You know you're watching a bad movie when...

  wastingaway2004-06-23

  ...the ENTIRE audience cheers at the death of one of the main characters. And tries to warn the poor saps standing outside the theater afterwards to run! run away! I started playing D&D several years ago, so I'm not some snobbish player from the days when the source books were chiseled on stone tablets. My friends and I got a group together to go see the D&D movie as a lark. It was the worst waste of my time and money. The acting was horrid, the sets cheesy, the special effects amateurish, and the story juvenile. My DM's 10-year-old son could come up with better. Oh, and after getting home, I discovered that I was allergic to something, and my arms and legs were covered in huge, itchy hives -- my fiancé maintains to this day that I was allergic to the awfullest movie we've ever seen. This movie would possibly be viewable through a drunken haze, except for the possibility that it would make you throw up.

• What a waste

  poem2001-11-27

  It is unbelievable how this movie could have been created with such good actors and so much money, but such a bad script and directing. Dialogues are painfully bad in this movie, as is the story itself. The acting is also below any standard you would expect from such an expensive movie. Jeremy Irons was especially shocking, his performance was very pathetic and flat, as if this would be a bad movie for three year olds. That was not acting, that was a torment ! I cried every time he appeared on the screen. Thora Birch was also far, far below her level in 'American Beauty', obviously unable to tell how one should put a little life into her bad dialogue and flat character, and somehow even thinking that that was her own fault. If at all, the thief Snails (Marlon Wayans from Scary Movie) had quite some good moments in his slapstick scenes, the only good moments in the whole movie. Unfortunately they don't last long. Wayans seems to have a talent to shine even in the worst movies, however. The performance of the main actor was also bad. His dull and cheap sunnyboy behavior really nerved me, and I saw absolutely no reason for his 'being special', but far more for 'being untalented'. The effects where better than the story, but really not that exciting either. Some people say fantasy is about stereotypes, but that doesnt mean you can forget all rules how to make up a good story ! This story was not worth getting on the screen. This story was also not worth getting such good actors and effects. This story was nothing but crap ! And I can't believe that Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch are such bad actors, they have proven they can do far, far better ! I can only guess it must have been the director who forced them to do such bad performances. Definitely not recommended for anyone except maybe children below ten. Oh wait, they're not allowed ? No loss.

• What the hell happened here?

  johnnyx-22005-12-19

  I knew it was going to be bad, but I like cheesy movies. And I knew it wasn't going to do justice to the D&D game, but I was open-minded to the effort. But good lord, this might be the worst movie I've ever seen. Lots of people have shredded this movie in a lot of ways, so I've got little new to contribute to the mass lynching. But three quick summary points: The acting was embarrassing - the Jeremy Irons was clearly chewing up the set with a bad Christopher Lee impression, and Thora Birch really, really wanted to be elsewhere. Whichever Wayans got drunk enough to sign this contract was cringe-worthy, and the best thing he did was die (although he took too long getting about it). The special effects were hilariously bad. The CGI for the sets was a distant second to Wolfenstein 3D, and anything involving 'magic' could've been better accomplished with a handful of colored yarn. Finally, the plot was UTTERLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE. Our heroes are sent to find the Rod of Thingummy, because the Empress is about to lose her Whatchamacallit. As they mosey along, everyone says 'good lord, don't find the Rod of Thingummy, it's a horrible evil'. In fact, the only person that could be benefited by the Rod of Thingummy is Lord Sinister Big Bad. Still, our idiot heroes keep on trooping around, trying to find the Rod of Thingummy. THEN, the Empress doesn't even LOSE the Whatchamacallit in the first place, so there's NO need for the Powers of Good to get the Rod of Thingummy anyway. BUT THEY KEEP GOING. So, inevitably, they get the Rod of Thingummy (more warnings about 'don't find it' coming in along the way), and HEY, the BAD GUY STEALS IT FROM THEM. Furthermore, that's what turns the tide of the war! The Empress was WINNING until our stupid heroes find the Rod and give it to the bad guys, what's up with that? Champions of the Realm?! They're idiots, and are personally responsible for the destruction of the city. Which is, may I add, a good thing, as whatever Commodore 64 was building the cityscape graphics was clearly overheating at that point anyway. Avoid at all costs. This movie is an abomination.

• One of the worst films of 2000

  Wizard-82001-06-16

  If there hadn't been a "Battlefield Earth", this movie probably would have gotten my vote for worst movie of 2000. The only way it is (slightly) better than that movie is the (very) occasional good set or effect. I could write for hours about what's wrong with this movie, but this is what comes to mind immediately (1) The horrible acting. I honestly can't understand why someone so talented as Jeremy Irons would be going so over the top. It's clear, however, that he isn't enjoying himself in the movie, so maybe he's getting revenge against the movie by acting so terribly The most annoying performance goes to Marlon Wayans. His shrieking, cowardly character uncomfortably brings up images of stereotypes from the 1930s. At least he doesn't say "Feet, do your stuff!" - though he sure comes close. (2) The bright, glitterly look of every scene. When you think of sword and sorcery, I think we all think of things rough and with grit. Not here. (3) The movie constantly rips off from other (better) movies, most notably from the four STAR WARS movies (4) The characters. Why the hell were the dwarf and elf in this movie? They could easily have been written out without consequence. And the main thief hero is one of the blandest heroes I've ever seen in the movie. (5) Virtually all the special effects, sets etc. are AWFUL. Sometimes they look even worse than those seen on the Xena and Hercules shows! (Though those two shows at least have the excuse of having lower budgets - and they make up for the cheap effects by having better scripts, characters, and acting!) (6) And speaking of scripts...thos script is terrible! Mainly it's because the story itself hardly makes any sense!