Attila (2013) Reviews

• Crapila is a much more fitting title...

  TheLittleSongbird2014-01-17

  Attila from the get go was always going to be a movie to not take seriously, and despite The Asylum having a mostly terrible track record Attila also deserved a fair chance. If the execution was at least passable it could have been fun. Unfortunately Attila was too inept that it was not easy at all to enjoy it, one of those movies where you have to look long and heard to detect a redeeming value. Attila is a low-budget movie but also an example of one where visually no real effort seems to have been made. It is very choppily edited and the special effects look rushed and look 10-15 years at least out of date. The music is too obtrusive, is not sympathetic to what's happening and it sounds generic too, while the sound is on the muddied side. When the music wasn't drowning out the dialogue, it was really painful to hear how mind-numbingly, inanely corny it sounded and also how it makes no attempt to develop the characters or make the story or the goings on understandable. The story was a ridiculous one to start with but it is told so messily that it comes across often as incoherent, it's also rather dull with the tension and fun levels next to nil. The characters are little more than stereotypical ciphers, and there was no point in calling the villain Attila the Hun, because the villain here is the complete opposite to what Attila stood for. For all we know, he could have been any low-budget creature, acting like a zombie and looking like a mummy, and to make things worse he exudes no personality or sense or threat, completely forgettable. The acting in Attila is not good at all, in fact it's laughably bad. Steve Hanks is the best actor in the movie and he still overeggs the pudding, and Chris Conrad when we are eventually introduced to him has the opposite problem in that he's wooden and plays it far too straight. Lastly, the fight scenes and stunts are very repetitive, tiredly choreographed and clumsily edited. Summing things up Attila is an ineptly terrible movie all round, one to see once and forget. 1/10 Bethany Cox

• Save yourself some time and skip this piece of crap.

  lee337915052014-03-01

  Would give this a zero if it was possible. I knew this was crap in the first 5 minutes when I saw the title sequence. VFX is amateurish, looks like someone thought by watching Video CoPilot tutorials would be enough to work on a movie. Blood splatter effects straight out of Action Essentials. I mess around with After Effects for fun/hobby and I could easily do a more professional job and that's pretty sad. Fight scenes are repetitive, boring and cheesy. Story is boring. Editing is boring with pacing issues. Boring characters you don't care about. I can usually find something redeeming in the crappiest movies that I can appreciate, but this didn't have anything. Just all around bad. Avoid at all cost.

• And just when you thought you had seen everything...

  paul_haakonsen2014-04-26

  Alright, well what can be said, this is definitely not one of the finest moments in the movie-making history of The Asylum. When I saw their logo on the screen as the first thing, I sort of lost motivation to watch this movie. And had I checked IMDb first and seeing how the movie has been rated, I would have stopped dead in my tracks and spent my time on something else. But then again, from time to time (rare as it might be, though), The Asylum do manage to put out a movie that surprises and turns out to be great. "Attila", however, was definitely not one of those rare instances. The storyline in the movie was adequate, take it for what it is; supernatural nonsense without any coherency towards realism. This movie is a no-brainer; the type you could watch during a really bad hangover. The acting in the movie was wooden and rigid, and that really did nothing to help lift up the movie. But the acting wasn't the main detraction against the enjoyment of the movie. It was the effects and the stupidity of it all. This movie failed on so many occasions and accounts. First of all, what scientist with a significant discovery in the staff of Moses, would examine it so carelessly and without protective devices, such as gloves, brushes, etc. to preserve the found and not contaminate it? And the scene itself where he cuts his finger on the unnaturally ragged and sharp teeth of the corpse was so forced and staged, it looked like he wasn't even trying to make it look like an accident. And what happened to those fangs once the corpse resurrected, they just turned into normal teeth, right... As for the subject of the found piece of the staff, sure I can buy into blood resurrecting the long dead Hun warrior, given the supernatural storyline, but where did his pristine outfit come from? And why was it only his face that was a decayed zombie-like visage, while the rest of his body was ordinary whole and without a trace of decay? Proceeding with the awakened Hun warrior; bullets fired against him produce sparks upon impact with his person. Wait, what? Seriously? So the guy is made of metal? It was just ridiculous. And how would a person from the period of Attila know how to roll under a moving car, directly under the chassis to break the car and take it out of commission? I was laughing so hard when I saw that scene. The movie's cover looks alluring and interesting, but it is so far from the actual contents of the movie as it could almost physically be. Do not get suckered in by the cover, because you are setting yourself up for a most horrible disappointing. If you enjoy super campy and cheesy movies with horrible story lines and even worse effects, then you might find some perverse enjoyment in watching "Attila". Otherwise, then I wouldn't really recommend that you spend your time on this particular movie.

• nope

  jerymid3142015-01-04

  Nope. That's all that should have been said when the idea for this movie was pitched. It is beyond terrible. I only finished it because I was watching it with a friend. We kept laughing and thinking it must get better at some point but again, nope. If you like horrible movies this could be for you but I doubt it even then. I haven't actually watched "Birdemic" but i can't see how it could honestly be worse than this. I actually made this account just to warn people about this filth. The plot make no sense at all, the continuity problems are the only consistent thing, and the action scenes are ridiculous. The acting is worse than that of an "actual doctor" for an infomercial. Small spoiler... if you do watch it, the villain will be your favorite character because he never actually speaks. All in all, don't watch it sober at least...

• Standard Asylum Quality Flick!

  Max_Lucas2014-03-17

  I have never seen anything good come from Asylum. I gave them at least 20 chances to prove their name to me. But lets face it, Asylum movies = 1-2 star rated movies. It's an insult to us to think we would enjoy these. My question is, even with such poor ratings and name stealing titles how do they stay in business!? I for one would like to see them gone. I wish actors would realize that doing an Asylum movie is actually bad for their career. This movie is just another typical Asylum Movie. Low budget, poor acting and directing. Boring. Special effects are a joke. Maybe if I lived in a state where pot was legal and I was high as a kite, I might find a movie like this or any Asylum movie entertaining? Probably still not. This movie was their last chance to show me something good. They failed. I will no longer watch anything made by Asylum. I hope others who feel the same way do the same thing and not support them in any way.